On Friday March 4, 2022 My nephew Brandon Johnson at the unbelievable age of 36 had a massive heart attack and died. My niece and their children are devastated to say the least. My heart breaks for them as they were completely unprepared for this loss. I think it's a blessing and a curse that my family hasn’t experienced loss on a grand scale. My grandmother died in 2006 then my mom’s brother died in 2021. They were both up in age and were expected to transition. So sudden death is something we have no experience with. So upon learning of his sudden and untimely death I had to take some time to process it all.
Later Saturday night as I was sitting in the middle of my bed thinking, I began to reflect on my own situation. I thought about October 4 2019 when my husband suddenly became ill. How unprepared I was for that and everything that came after it. How devastated I was to watch him laying in the hospital unable to properly form words and express himself. I remembered those times with deep gratitude because as I was thinking I looked over and there he was, right next to me, alive. I instantly became overwhelmed with guilt. My husband lived and my niece’s husband didn’t. Why did God save Joe and take Brandon? These are the human questions I was asking myself. When people I love are struggling with anything I want to end their problems. I want to take her pain away and make it all better. But I can’t. I can’t fix this. This is out of my wheelhouse.
As a believer I am taught and have taught others that all things work together for the good of them who love God and those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). So my human mind asks how can this possibly work for their good? How can a wife losing her husband and children losing their father be for their good? The simple answer is I don’t know. Then my spirit man reminded me that I don’t know the mind of God. I have no way of understanding the why or the how. God knows why he took this young man and left my husband. God knows how he’s going to bring beauty from these ashes. God knows. What I know is that it's not mine to question.
Brandon was a great all around guy. Good to my niece, to his children, his friends, and his family. He was a protector and a provider. I watched him grow into his manhood. I was proud to have had a front row seat to his life and evolution. Now he's gone and all that’s left is his legacy. I don’t know why God wanted him now. But he did. I don’t know why God left Joe here but he did. I want to enjoy the life that is left, not spend time stressing about things that I will never get answers to. This is a hard pill to swallow but I look to the Lord for all things. As I continue to lift my beautiful babies in prayer. I ask all of you as my readers to do the same.
Rest peacefully nephew
