Staying Focused

These last couple weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. With the George Floyd trial and watching the attorney of his murderer attack his character; then the killing of Adam Toledo and whether he had a gun or not; the attack of a young black man just walking down the street minding his own business. Not to mention the “accidental” killing of Daunte Wright. And let us not forget the black soldier who was pulled over and treated with such disrespect after having served this country. The news has been flooded with devastating occurrences that has revived the uproar of our communities. On a personal level, I am still struggling with the death of my father and all the things that has come with that. Then my mother lost her only brother yesterday. There are so many things that are happening that could cause me to decide to lose focus of all my own goals and aspirations, but I had to sit and decide; I needed to decide if I was going to continue to make excuses for making bad health choices or am I going stand up and be accountable for my own life. I decided to stand up for my life.

As a mother to two young black men, I watch the news and read the stories with tears because these mothers are me and I am them. The blood of their sons that is spilled senselessly in the street is crying out for justice and for someone to be held accountable for what has happened. Yet consistently we are told that no one will be held responsible. No one will answer for this lost life. What they are really saying to us on a grand scale is you do not matter, and we do not care. While it is a truly clear and present message, it is also a very devastating one as well. There are families that are grieving for their sons and fathers. Families that are lost. Mothers who in many of these cases lost their only child and cannot recover from this loss. It is quite easy to get lost in the dreadful reality of the fact that our sons don’t matter to anyone but us. I realized that the soldier could have been my son.

It is so easy to get lost of the emotional aspect of this but you can’t. You simply cannot. You must take care of yourself because it is mandatory you be prepared for battle. Your battle may not be my battle, but you must be ready to protect you children with everything you have. My prep work is me living a heathier life by making better food choices. I have been on the sideline of my children’s lives for too many years. I have made excuses for not doing better for too long. I can no longer make reasonable excuses.

My husband and I watch tons of weight loss tv, in particular, “My 600 lb Life” and quite often the patients of Dr. Nowzardan come in after not losing the weight he told them to lose, and they have a list of reasons for resorting back to the bad food and making bad decisions. His question is always “what does any of that have to do with following the diet?” The short answer is nothing. I can get consumed with the loss of life in the news and comfort myself with a bag of chips. I can allow myself to get overwhelmed with the things that I am facing in my personal life and eat a cheesecake, but why? Why would I compile more problems on an already laundry list of problems? I want to do more than just care and pray. I want to be able to help, protect, speak out, or whatever I can to aid the cause. Right now, I cannot do any of that in this current body I have. I want to continue to transform myself to be able to be on the front lines of the movement.

So, I encourage all of you who are struggling, keep fighting. Yes, life is hard and right not it does not look like it is getting any easier, but you are worth it. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. I will continue to fight for me so I can fight for OUR sons……