My daughter was recently home for spring break and we had numerous conversations about so many things. One thing we discussed about today‘s society that really upset me was the shame that is being placed on people who are choosing to abstain from sexual activity. One young lady said “how lame do you have to be to not be having sex in 2022” I was mortified by this mentality. Young ladies don’t see their bodies as something that needs to be respected and preserved. They feel as if it is meant to be used as a form of freedom of expression. Don’t misunderstand me because I believe that people should be free to do what they want, believe what they want, and express themselves how they want. For me though the problem comes in when you take your personal beliefs for your life and use them to judge the decisions of others. One could even argue that this entire blog is exactly that. This post though isn’t a judgment as much as it is informative.
My daughter who is currently a sophomore in college on multiple scholarships, has made a decision to save herself for one special person that she has yet to meet. Having raised her from a place of extensive error, I taught her the importance of self preservation. As a believer in the Word of God we are taught that sex is reserved for marriage. Something that is shared between two people who have committed their lives to each other for the rest of their lives. Sex is not just a physical exchange, it is a spiritual experience. You have connected with this person so deeply. Have you ever had sex with someone and for whatever reason you part ways but say to yourself “ why can’t I get him/her out of my system?” Your soul is tied to them. You ever wonder why couples who have been together for so long begin to look alike? Their souls are connected. Now you take this concept and apply it to every person you choose to have this experience with. You are connected to every person that they are connected to. That is a lot of emotional baggage that oftentimes people don’t even know they are carrying.
When a person makes a decision not to engage with multiple partners or no partner at all they made the best decision for themselves. No one has the right to make them feel small or inferior for doing what is best for them. I am very proud of my daughter for her decisions. She has chosen to live by what we have taught her and additionally she has chosen to not allow anyone to pressure her or force her into anything that she is not ready to handle. Being sexually active is a weighted responsibility. Many mature adults can’t handle this responsibility. Imagine a teen who’s brain isn’t fully developed trying to handle the pressure.
Again, no judgment. However you choose to live your life is your business. No one has the right to decide what is best for you. In the same way when people decide that sex is not for them at the place they are in in their life, respect their position and don’t mock or shame them.