It's Mother’s Day. A day that world says thank you to mothers. I have been a mother for 24 years now. Although my son is 23
I became a mother the moment I knew I was carrying him because everything I did from that moment on was in his best interest. Being a mother has come with good days and bad days and some unbelievable days. I have felt pride, sadness, anger, joy, and a plethora of other emotions. But what has remained consistent is my desire for them to be their absolute best. What we know as mothers is when we give birth to these beautiful little people that they are full of potential. You look at them as you hold them for the very first time in your arms and see nothing but greatness. You are imagining everything they can become; everything you're going to help them become. With every child I gave birth to I would think about the mistakes I made with the one before just to make sure I didn’t repeat those same mistakes. But the truth is I did. Until I realized I had to face my own stuff.
I think being a mother is my greatest joy. I love my kids with my whole body. All I ever wanted was what was best for them. I didn’t always convey what I was really feeling though. Oftentimes I led with anxiety and fear. Fear of them being hurt or mistreated so I was overbearing and controlling. Right reasons, wrong method. When I think about the stress it took to get them where they are now, I feel shame, hurt, embarrassment, and some sadness. But then I feel pride because at every stage I was willing to not only make them better I was also willing to be better. Oh I failed many times at many things but I was never willing to quit on them. What would quitting even look like anyway? As I prepare to get my last kid out of High School I am so proud of myself. I don’t say this in an arrogant way but I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish with so many things stacked against me. My children are brilliant. They are still finding themselves as they should be at their age but they are smart and compassionate. They care about others in an authentic way. They are comfortable in their own skin and they are finding their way. That is more than enough to be proud of. Getting to this moment was difficult but so worth it.
To every mother that has ever been at their wits end, I celebrate you. You never quit on my kids. You are worthy of praise. Not because you are perfect but because you didn’t give up. Today is our day. We made it through another year. I don’t know what the next 365 days will hold for us but one thing I am certain of is we will make it through.