He's My Special Boy

February 2003 I wasn’t feeling well so I went to the doctor and just during routing triage I was informed that I was pregnant. This is news that would ordinarily make a husband and wife excited but for us it was horrible. My daughter was about 9 months old and my pregnancy with her was high risk to put it simply. With all the complications I had with her my OB-GYN made it crystal clear that carrying another baby was completely out of the question. So finding out we were pregnant was scary. I saw my OB and she was quite angry with me when she discovered I was pregnant. She had spelled out the risks in no uncertain details. It was clear. I was putting my life and the life of my unborn in jeopardy. Her words to me were “ you have to terminate this pregnancy immediately” I was definitely shook. I had never been faced with a decision of this magnitude. I had to decide to live or end the life of my unborn. How? How do you choose one life over another?

It was true that I already had 2 healthy babies and a husband but this baby was just as much a part of me as they were. It was an unbelievable predicament. I had never considered abortion as an option for my life. I have no judgment for those who do but it wasn’t for me. But I had to make a decision. After many many tears and some praying and wise counsel, I decided to keep my baby and trust God through the process.

September 30, 2003 Jaylin Bernard Taylor was born. I didn’t have the complications that the doctor expected I would and for the most part my pregnancy was successful. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the challenges he would have along the way. He was born with Jaundice and a couple other issues that caused him to have an extended hospital stay. It also prevented me from seeing him until he was well enough for me to hold. He was almost a week old before I was able to hold him for the first time. He cried a lot and it was stressful because I could never figure out why he was so unhappy.

My husband and I started to notice that as he got older the things that babies do at certain stages he wasn’t doing. We thought initially he was just moving at his own pace. But he wasn’t moving at all. We were terrified. We didn’t know what if anything was wrong with him. He was about a year and a half when we decided to bring this up to his pediatrician. What the doctor told us was devastating. He said Jaylin is experiencing some major developmental delays and he will NEVER BE NORMAL” I cried for days. My precious little baby boy will need to be cared for for the rest of his life. At this stage my other two were walking and talking and exploring the world on their own but Jaylin was still very much an infant. Not walking, not talking he would smile occasionally but still just a baby.

After I was done crying I decided that I wasn’t going to accept what the doctor said. I chose to believe the word of the Lord. By his stripes we are healed. I took Jaylin to the altar and put him and all the things wrong with him in the hands of the Lord! It was a matter of months that he started making noises. I knew we still had a long road ahead but I was excited for the steps forward. Then he started crawling on one knee. It was the strangest thing I had ever seen but he was moving. By the time he turned 2 he was speaking in complete sentences and getting into everything he could get his hands on. I knew God had heard my prayers. But the battle wasn’t over yet.

The older he got the more I started to notice that there were certain social cues he didn’t have. He didn’t comprehend personal space and when a person didn’t want to be touched. I would talk to him about those things but it wasn’t registering. For a while I thought he was just disregarding what I was saying to him but I started to realize he just didn’t understand. I spent a lot of years teaching him things that would normally come natural to people. While he soared academically, socially he was still underdeveloped. It's heartbreaking as a mother when you see kids not wanting to play with your child because he’s different or because they don’t understand him. Today Jaylin is 17 and very well adjusted. H

e's working his first job and navigating the world all on his own. There are still things that I know don't come naturally but because he is older now I can explain those things in a way he can understand now.

This week I wanted to appeal to those parents that have children that are a challenge. When you are carrying that baby you really have no idea when you will end up with. You always hope for the best but you really don’t know. I had already had two perfectly normal babies despite the complications of the second, she was fine. But raising Jaylin has taught me a level of patience that I never knew I needed. It has given me a deeper compassion for parents raising special needs children. Moms, whatever your lot in life, give yourselves a break. You are doing your absolute best. You are not going to always win the day and that's ok. If you ended the day and your babies were all alive that’s a win. Rest and try it again tomorrow.

If you are a parent noticing that something is not quite right with your child. Don't be ashamed to look into it. Its better to be overly cautious that not cautious enough. Love your babies enough to ask the tough questions.